Stronger

Some may call this a vice, but my favorite music to listen to when I work out is hip-hop and dance mixes.

I love it. When I’m working out, I slip into my fighter mentality. I don’t advocate a dog eat dog attitude, but I think that there is a lack of tenacity that is perpetrated in our American culture and even within the church. Meek, mild, and fatalistic really isn’t all we’re called to be.

Although they don’t channel their frustrations and desires well the vast majority of the time, one thing a lot of these artists get is that you’ve got to be willing to fight for what you’re working towards. No one will hand it to you.

The fact is that the things that are worth the most in life are things you have to fight for. For me, something I’ve had to fight for is my self-esteem, and my new workout regimen has been a big part of that.

So here is my workout playlist that pumps me up to kick butt through my workout. The bold are the ones I feel keep with the theme of the post.

• Shut Up and Drive- Rhianna
• Low- Flo Rida
• Let’s Get it Started- Black Eyed Peas
• One, Two Step- Ciara
• Mama Said Knock You Out- LL Cool J
• Party Like a Rock Star- Shop Boyz
• Stronger- Kanye West
• Lose Yourself- Eminem
• This is Why I’m Hot- Mims
• Sexyback- Justin Timberlake
• Hips Don’t Lie- Shakira
• Don’ Cha- Pussycat Dolls
• Vertigo- U2

*note, author does not necessarily recommend these songs

What are the songs that pump you up? What do you work out to? I’m always looking for new workout music.

The Modern Lament

I recently heard a wise man speak on the fact that the church is sadly lacking in laments.

Thankfully, we have St. Bono of Dublin, patron saint of every emotion the heart feels. :) Lately, I haven’t been able to listen to my standard music. It’s a little too gentle for how I’m feeling. So I’ve returned to U2.

What I like is that they can express the deepest emotions of the heart while remaining faithful to the complexity of each and in their intertwining.

Longing–

I have climbed highest mountains, I have run through the fields
Only to be with you
I have run, I have crawled, I have scaled these city walls
Only to be with you
But I still haven’t found what I’m looking for

Anticipation-

Something is about to give
I can feel it coming, I think I know what it is
I’m not afraid to die, I’m not afraid to live
And when I’m flat on my back I hope to feel like I did
And hardness, it sets in
You need some protection on the thinner the skin

Pain-

I’m around the corner from anything that’s real
I’m across the road from hope
I’m under a bridge in a rip tide
That’s taken everything I call my own
One step closer to knowing
I’m hanging out to dry with my old clothes
Finger still red with the prick of an old rose
Well the heart that hurts is a heart that beats
Can you hear the drummer slowing?
One step closer to knowing

Humility-

Tough, you think you’ve got the stuff
You’re telling me and anyone you’re hard enough
You don’t have to put up a fight, you don’t have to always be
right
Let me take some of the punches for you tonight
Listen to me now- I need to let you know
You don’t have to go it alone
Sometimes you can’t make it on your own

Courage-

Love is not the easy thing.
The only baggage that you can bring
Is all that you can’t leave behind.
And if the darkness is to keep us apart
And if the daylight feels like it’s a long way off
And if your glass heart should crack
And for a second you turn back
Oh no, be strong.
Walk on…
What you got they can’t steal it
No they can’t even feel it
Walk on…
And I know it aches, and your heart it breaks
You can only take so much… walk on

Does anyone else have any music they turn to when they need something that captures the rawness of life? Anyone want to identify the songs I referenced?

With my gratitude to my U2 Sempai, Peter-san.

The More I Seek You

It’s amazing to me how God provides us with what we need before we realize we need it. I learned this song Friday and knew it was something special. Little did I know the comfort and anchor it would be for me since then. Maybe someone out there needs to hear this, too.

The More I Seek You- Kari Jobe

The more I seek you, the more I find you
The more I find you, the more I love you

I want to sit at your feet,
Drink from the cup in your hand,
Lay back against you and breathe,
Hear your heart beat.

This love is so deep, it’s more than I can stand.
I melt in your peace, it’s overwhelming.

Thank you, Father, for knowing our hearts, healing our wounds, and providing us with every good thing…

Vision of You

Tonight I went to a concert I’ve been excited about for a while, featuring Shane and Shane and Bethany Dillon!

Bethany and her fiancee even sang one of my favorite songs. Here’s a snippet:

Shine on Me from Ann W on Vimeo.

And it was tons of fun to go with my friends, who have great musical taste and always make my life much sweeter.

This picture cracks me up. :)

Sojo’s iPod Shuffle

Step 1: Put your iTunes/iPod or equivalent on random.
Step 2: Post the first line from the first 25 (I did 30 because I had fun) songs that play, no matter how embarrassing.
Step 3: You guys get to guess in the comments! I’ll bold out the songs when someone guesses correctly. (note- looking them up on google or any other search engine is cheating)

1. I could fall apart before I start
2. You don’t have to be beautiful to turn me on- “Kiss” by Prince
3. Now that fear is out of the way, I’m starting to see myself so clear
4. Wash me in the water of the word- “Wash me in the Water” by Shane and Shane
5. Well I was sitting, waiting, wishing, you believed in superstition
6. It’s hard to stand on shifting sand, it’s hard to shine in the shadows of your mind- “Better Hands” by Natalie Grant
7. There are times when faith and common sense do not align- “Brave” by Nichole Nordeman
8. I came walking down this road for a better point of view
9. Have I become a soul so numb?- “Time Takes its Toll on Us” by Bebo Norman
10. What looks like failure is success
11. Who’s your brother, who’s your sister?
12. When the sun starts to rise and I open my eyes, you are good- “You are Good” by Point of Grace
13. Holy design, this place in time
14. Each day as I grow older, the nights are getting colder
15. My big brother was Big’s brother, used to be Dane and Big’s brother
16. You know I ran across an old box of letters while I was bagging up some clothes for Goodwill- “Thankful” by Caedmon’s Call
17. Eu, voce, nos dois, aqui neste terraço à beira-mar- “Fotografia” by Antonio Carlos Jobim
18. Paper airplane in flight, see the moon say goodnight
19. The dawn is breaking, a light shining through
20. Well it looks like five thousand miles broke the camel’s back- “Love is Different” by Caemdon’s Call
21. Your light broke through my night, restored exceeding joy- “Mourning into Dancing” by Zoe Group
22. How many roads did I travel before I went down one that led me to you- “Holy” by Nichole Nordeman
23. Tears are falling, hearts are breaking, how we need to hear from God- “Welcome to Our World” by Chris Rice
24. Come up to meet you, tell you I’m sorry, you don’t know how lovely you are- “The Scientist” by Coldplay
25. Whatcha gonna do with all that junk- “My Humps” by the Black Eyed Peas
26. Hot sun dancing on the river, we sit on the bank and watch the world go by- “For a Little While” by Tim McGraw
27. It tapped me on the shoulder today when I got home
28. When you’re down and troubled and you need a helping hand- “You’ve Got a Friend in Me” by James Taylor
29. Dream when you’re feelin’ blue
30. At last, my love has come along- “At Last” by Etta James or Ella Fitzgerald

Small Enough

A few months ago I gave my testimony to my small group at church. The morning I was going to share it, one of my good friends handed me a CD and told me there was a song I needed to hear before I did. It was the album “This Mystery” by Nichole Nordeman, and the song in particular was “Small Enough.”

The phrase “personal relationship” is over-used and abused in Christian circles, so I hesitate to use it, but that is truly the heart of this song. God is the God who acts in bold and mighty ways, but He is also the Father who knows how many hairs are on my head.

My friend wanted to remind me that although God has worked visible and powerful miracles in my life, He still cares when my feelings are hurt or have a bad day. I didn’t realize then the powerful ministry this song would have for me in the months since I first heard it, but I thank God for His provision before I knew my need.

Oh great God, be small enough to hear me now
There were times when I was crying from the dark of Daniel’s den
I had asked you once or twice if you would part the sea again
Tonight I do not need a fiery pillar in the sky
Just want to know you’re gonna hold me if I start to cry

Oh great God, be small enough to hear me now
Oh great God, be close enough to feel me now
There have been moments when I could not face Goliath on my own
And how could I forget we marched around our share of Jerichos
But I will not be setting out the fleece for you tonight
Just wanna know that everything will be alright
Oh great God, be close enough to feel me now

All praise and all the honor be to the God of ancient mysteries
Whose every sign and wonder turn the pages of our history
But tonight my heart is heavy and I cannot keep from whispering this prayer-
Are you there?

I know you could leave writing on the wall that’s just for me
Or send wisdom while I’m sleeping like in Solomon’s sweet dreams
I don’t need the strength of Sampson or a chariot in the end
Just wanna know you still know how many hairs are on my head
Oh great God, be small enough to hear me now

Let Your Light Shine Down

The Calmer of the sea
Here in this room with me
So gently welcoming
The weakest things in me
You are the blood over
The door of my heart
What pain You spared me from
How could I know it all?

Oh wonderful love, You died for me
The power of Your life is in me

Father, let Your light shine down on me
Father, let Your light shine down on me
No matter what the day or night may bring
Father, let Your light shine down on me

Oh Jesus, You became what was my deepest shame
That at Your very name
My calloused heart would change
How could You, oh perfect One
Love me, when I have done nothing that’s worthy of
My freedom You have won

Open up the heavens
Poor down Your Spirit
Hold me God
Jesus, wherever You lead
I’ll sing harmony
Hold me God

Father, let Your light shine down on me
Father, let Your light shine down on me
No matter what the day or night may bring
Father, let Your light shine down on me

–Bethany Dillon

So gently welcoming the weakest things in me… if that’s not reason to rejoice in our God, I don’t know what is.

Breakable

Have you ever thought about what protects our hearts?
Just a cage of rib bones and other various parts.
So it’s fairly simple to cut right through the mess,
And to stop the muscle that makes us confess.

And we are so fragile,
And our cracking bones make noise,
And we are just,
Breakable, breakable, breakable girls and boys.

My office has wonderfully eclectic taste in music, and I was introduced to Ingrid Michaelson earlier this week. “Breakable” (available for listening via myspace) has been on my mind, because I’ve recently become extremely aware of how true the sentiment is.

For so much of my life I’ve struggled to maintain perfect appearances, oftentimes sacrificing vulnerability and trust with who I really am. Other times when I’ve let people into the deeper, weaker parts of me, I’ve been abandoned or used or hurt.

I’ve survived a lot and I am pretty good about keeping a happy face, so I feel like I should be tough. But really I am just as breakable as the next person, just looking for friends I can trust with myself, and of whose trust I am worthy. Some days are glorious, and other days dismal, but our vulnerability is what makes us real and human. We’re all breakable, even those who appear strong. Maybe it’d serve us all to live more gently and graciously with each other.

Sunday… hallelujah!

Nothing’s sacred, the days are cheap
Truth is thin on the ground
Still our prophets are crucified
Nobody believes we’re stumbling
It’s Friday, but Sunday is coming

Someone’s saying a prayer tonight
For hungry mouths to be filled
Someone kneels in the dark somewhere
And darkness is already crumbling
It’s Friday, but Sunday comes…

Sunday… Hallelujah!!!
It’s not so far, not so far away

Broken promises, weary hearts
But one promise remains–
Crucified, he will come again
It’s Friday, but Sunday is coming

Sunday… Hallelujah!!!
It’s not so far, not so far away

Tree63

I love Sundays!!! And although this is not my favorite song, it is still the one that runs through my head as I happily think about Sunday. I know that’s not exactly the point of the song (not really at all, actually), but I feel like God has brought me from Friday to Sunday in several areas of life, and as cheesey as it sounds, my heart really does sing that… “Sunday, hallelujah!!!!”

Here is an excerpt from an interview with songwriter John Ellis–

This song was originally titled “Friday (But Sunday Is Coming),” from the title of the well-known sermon and book by Tony Campolo. Its verses deal with the dark realities of our world, where the Friday of Jesus’ crucifixion acts as a metaphor for our experiences of those realities. As the Gospel stories clearly show, Friday happens, but Sunday is inevitable. Sunday is the resurrection, the day when all our meager hopes and wildest dreams come true, the day we as believers look forward to despite our present condition. This is a “hang in there” song; Sunday is not so far away!

If nothing else, I pray God fills you with hope for Sunday, and if you’re in a Sunday phase of your heart, that you have a song to glorify Him for His faithfulness.

My Chains Are Gone

Lately I have found myself really enamored with Chris Tomlin‘s music. It’s a little strange, because for some reason he doesn’t strike me as my “type.” But he has some seriously good songs and great praise music. I feel like my theme song these days could very well be “How Can I Keep From Singing“, because as I have mentioned, I feel like God has filled my cup to overflowing and I am incredibly grateful. His current single is called “Amazing Grace/My Chains are Gone“, and is basically Amazing Grace, but with an extra bridge/chorus thrown in:

My chains are gone; I’ve been set free.
My God, my Savior has ransomed me.
And like a flood, His mercy reigns–
Unending love, amazing grace.

I think it’s beautiful. You know those awful shirts marketed to the true and dedicated Christians committed to evangelizing via over-priced clothing? I saw one that was actually kind of poignant, save for the dangling preposition. It simply said, “I am the wretch the song refers to.”* It’s true, isn’t it? We’ve all been set free from the chains of sin and death through the amazing grace of Christ.

I love the complexity and depth of Derek Webb, (old school) Chris Rice and others, but I also love a simple and beautiful song of praise, too. I highly suggest Chris Tomlin. To hear the songs I mentioned in this post, you can go to Chris Tomlin’s myspace page.

*Or, “I am the wretch to which the song refers” :)